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over it

by under milkwood

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1.
over it 01:20
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We'll be over it So I will go kiss and grab and bite someone else but I would still be faithful to you in some way You know you get it though I know there are things you can't bring yourself to say Anyway, I made a mix perfect for scratching your back in the bath We never have gotten to hear it I swear I am fine and I won't ever care the way some people can My veins like roots ran straight into the ground and almost grew into you but I had just a few more feet to go when things got sensitive I attentively listened to the weak man cry and tell me no one is ever any good I wish I could've shot him in the head right there and ended his pain, take his sticky brains and use the excess to glue my mind back together Worms with names of everyone who tried to help have eaten away a lot of my empathy and I find it hard to make friends now Again is such a meaningless word when nothing has happened yet and I already forget what you said to me Angry and aggressive there is nothing wrong with that But it's okay if sometimes affection seeps through and drips into my nose, out through my toes and back to passive words Just for a day give yourself to me completely Buy a handle for yourself and pack of reds for me, walk deep into a place we don't know and we will get rid of our clothes and filters and try to get it I will give you back in better condition or I would like to think My pink fingertips will ache to linger over your body til the end Peeling off layers like an orange Are you bruised, are you passed due? Is there anything true in the sharpest eyes I've ever seen? Probably not I'm over it.
2.
o k 01:33
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i swallowed all of your words and i still was empty i still was starving and weeping about nothing much just loneliness on sunday nights i don't even know what loneliness is but don't tell me you don't fucking feel it chamber music and brains that are all mush no substance that's opposite of what i found in you and i can't find you i don't know where you are i put my tongue in your ear and my body came along your mind is a maze and the exit is your mouth that's the only place i've ever wanted to be i can't see you there are so few people i want anything to do with but i probably want you in general and i want and i want and i don't have and i have you're gripping my calves and i am naked by the window goosebumps touched by other goosebumps submersed in joy that will end too soon ruined by the thought that anything could be forever if we never left this room why are our limbs so eager to carry us out the door? always so dead, so numb from no motion in the morning when in the night our legs were explorers, restlessly searching for the next pleasure. treasuring every second of cold skin perfection and every moment of pressure from thumbs between collarbones. i pick the dirt out of my nails so i don't reminisce in our outside escapades then i regret it because i don't know if you're real when we aren't together except for those small nothings. everything is so wasted so bleak and monotonous and tiny like heartbeats. they aren't powerful, they're pathetic. a beat means nothing when you're all used up. i'm so sorry for all of us. i'll wear my favorite sweater just so you can take it off. only long enough to feel your hands making marks they fade to fast and i left hours ago i'm thinking about you, though.
3.
feel bad 04:37
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i stopped doing things that made me feel bad i stumbled my way into white cotton sheets mouth so raw i wonder if you know all the things i know about myself when i step out the cover of night im a blank naked slate that isn't so clean i want you to interrupt the serene white that is draped crooked on my bones rip it off come in fill a towel with the filth in my hair i'll begin to shrink and become fragile tie me up unclothed bite off your fingers and tell me how bad it all is i'll make you forget but that doesn't mean anything x2 it could be so good but i won't let it happen i won't let things happen that'll make you happy i don't want you but you can leave your spit in my mouth and i'll wash it all out you could hurt me but you won't so i'll hurt you
4.
pick up sticks 00:44
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i dont understand the clutter phrases and notes that make up your mind and why those sad words that you choke back in your throat dont take precedent over actions your day to day routine seems like an easily configured route, a line in the sand that i dont want to know about because you are so fickle and so vulnerable that i will never understand and i know that i am bitter, but my thoughts make more sense and your pathetic mind cradles no excuses, no past tense to those sad sorry fads that you conform to and that just makes you more alone and more separated and im not sorry for you and there is nothing inside your bones i wish that the world would open up and dissolve and i'd have the guts to pull that revolver on your empty mind give myself a little rest from your lonely, bleak nothingness and i am alone, but you are abandoned
5.
carpenter 01:35
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hey the moon is shining way too bright tonight i know you've got your blinds shut but not your eyes, those are never closed tight enough i can still see where you stood on the corner of the street i know you feel empty way, way down sometimes surface level but we're all just so fucking sad at least you're justified but even deeper there's an inevitable anger that keeps you human maybe even some joy in there nobody is going to bring it to you but i know you don't need that you spat your spite out right into the sewer but that'll only get filtered and come right back refreshing at first but ending up in another night time bowl you say you want to take walks in the cemetery i'd come with you but i think it's a lot more telling retracing your steps i'll see where you pressed hard when you thought about him and when you treaded lighter thinking about her i know by that point you'll be skipping a party in your bed by eight o clock there are things like that i admire so much and i'd cook you breakfast and leave you go because i know that there are things you've got to sort out in your head but don't change the circuits around in your brain because something about you strikes me maybe it's the blue and purple little nests under your eyes from your sensitivity of everyone else's burdens the problems become twigs and cigarette butts but something will land their and coop and scoop up all those wrong doings i'm sorry if that was a stupid way to say that i get why things aren't alright but you've got the same disposition i have and i think you'll understand. so get home and get hot water and get bubbles and i'll see you in my hopes i wish nothing more than for you to feel numb for a bit lessen the blows you don't deserve until then preserve the feelings you've got and never sink into apathy i could listen to you rant forever
6.
skyscraper graves 03:05
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[sara] i am acutely aware that i belong underneath of your skin to remind you that every time you say that you're dying, you're lying you’re not who you say you are [morgan] so i will continue to punch your blood vessels from underneath and you'll call them bruises we all have someone who uses us, we all use someone i'm so tired of being useless i'm sure that has been said a million times before just like everything else and i'll choke you, loosening and tightening belts nothing has ever felt more right than hurting you i know that you scratch in your sleep, trying to break skin and get me out sorry i'm in way too deep, i can't stop visiting the sites where i'd bite you every night [sara] one day i will be sorry but today is not the day it might be when i'm long gone, decaying in a forgotten place with skyscrapers as my grave [morgan] progress means to regress when you don't have a future you aren't destined for anything so i'm going to paint you a picture off white skin pressed against a tub pinching hard in every place where someone else's skin used to rub using bleach to clean the nooks where someone dropped words so hopeful instead they sunk into the body, turned awful, the blood has gone postal and that's where you left me i think everyone wants to die at 25 i am so dispensable, you are so dispensable lets do everything impulsively i'll convince you that the river is warm invite me over on a wednesday night and we will do incredible things to each other [sara] god i can't wait to get rid of you

credits

released May 5, 2013

words by morgan mccoy/sara savage
guitar by sara savage

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under milkwood Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

pittsburgh spoken word

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