1. |
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you know,
they say one in every forty seconds but we never know when to start counting.
and i’m beginning to believe that you can’t get better.
and i didn’t believe in secondhand smoke until you shot gunned those hot attractive words down my throat – and i coughed. i choked. i winced.
i do that a lot now. i do a lot of things a lot now.
mostly waste away in self righteous thought, unmotivated and finding everything hard to comprehend.
there’s nothing for me to offer but i’ll give it all to you – i’ve heard a lot of words.
they get stuck in my teeth, i grind. jaw hurts. soothe it by spitting out the contents of my mouth and repeat.
continually.
fed this so called truth. then fed again and again and now i believe i am the truth. And now i’m a facist and an elitist and you’re the scum below my feet because i’m above you, i’m the the truth. let me feed you all the truth i contain and call it equality.
your rights are important. more important than anyone else’s in fact. they run and hide and milk our system because they’re lazy.
i forgot to tell you i’m a liar. but i have to be, you see, nobody would believe me if i spurt out all my secrets.
no.
i have to bargain with this fancy jargon i learned at school.
people say ‘hitler was bad, but he had the right idea!’
well i agree.
i deserve power and money, so i will lie and say i’m honest. give to the elderly and get funny. and people will call me charming. don’t be alarmed.
this happens constantly.
free education.
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2. |
do not
00:47
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you are what i’m not.
you had the loveliest views.
i twiddled my thumbs.
i write in pencil.
you weren’t afraid of mistakes.
i wish to erase.
concomitantly.
existing with something else.
you said, ‘me and you.’
i said ‘i’m myself.’
you said, ‘you don’t have to be.’
that made me upset.
you were so tender.
i lay awake and hate you…
the human mind sucks.
i fell so deeply
into frustration – not love.
you said, ‘that is love.’
i said, ‘go away.’
you said, ‘okay,’ and vanished.
fine. goodbye, whatever.
i hope you are sad.
but found someone good for you.
concomitantly.
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3. |
spiderwebs
01:45
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you used to spin spiderwebs in my mind.
and leave me bitten, left with a poison that only itches and bother me.
now my brain is all cobwebs and i'm wishing to be poisoned.
only with something a little more lethal this time.
i promise this isn't suicidal.
i don't value you enough to feel that way.
the affect you had on me was incredible, though.
i realized how simple and tedious and hilarious life is.
listening to you utter your sorry songs, falsities, and pathetic mistakes.
i wanted to laugh in your face.
your tales of lost love are all you have,
poems you write of walking through the gloomy, glowing roads of this damn city are your only solace.
the poison you left me wanting
is one that will make me comatose.
just so you'll visit me in the hospital.
when i awake, i'll burn the flowers you left
and mock your pitiful words.
maybe i was the weak one all along.
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4. |
boiling water
01:23
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what if I was born to the next door neighbors/I think I'd feel your absence still/plastic bag on the drain/that took the water from the fountain/the concrete absorbed it anyway/this will only make sense to me/but I don't have any sensibility/inhale, exhale. a reprieve./I've loved boiling water/since I was eight/skin red, raw. It was good. It was great./the heat sent my nerves rippling/down my spine/much like your fingers tickling my thighs/fleshy like my swollen baby hands/burnt helping my mom do dishes/ill help you with dirty plates but/it's just not the same/I want to take a bath with you/come out dirtier because of the scummy porcelain/(I mean the tub not my skin)/your tongue is refreshing/stealing my stale cigarette taste/that you probably hate/I want you to punch me/in the stomach/my rotting guts will shake/I lied, they aren't rotting/just dormant/waiting for you to want me/and breathe into them/all the air you saved for someone/Worthy of your lips/that have somehow found their way/to mine/sorry about the talk of anatomy/but you'd be mad at me/for knowing your mind so well/I won't say anything about it - cannot/spare any details/I worry about my specificity/as I eat so ravenously all the/well thought words you share/thanks/I want you semi permanently/can you give that to me?/can I give that to you?/thanks please
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under milkwood Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
pittsburgh spoken word
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